Horror Movies to Pair With Life Predicaments
For many years, my life revolved around watching movies, talking about movies, writing movies, and writing about movies. We spent hours at the now closed Hastings on Valley Mills, scouring through the $2.00 used DVD section, resisting the urge to spend every penny we had on bad 80s horror movies. Walking those aisles, fluorescent lights accentuating my chronic skin flaws, the worries of my young life melted away as I was swept off to the lands of Bronson Alcott High, the Shire, Wonka’s factory, and the thunderdome.
I’ve spoken before about the memories I associate with certain films, and how I look to the medium for guidance, inspiration, and validation. In particular, I hold a strong bond with all things horror. It’s my belief that horror movies are an amalgamation of all the things we love most about storytelling and life itself.
They’re daring, emotional, obnoxious, and memorable. At least, some of them are. They grapple with life’s biggest conundrums and explore the extent to which human beings are capable of persevering.
Fear is an unexplored feeling for most of us. The unknown is troubling, so why dwell on it? I’m not a fan of sharks and I don’t have any inclination to get close to them, however, I find myself thinking about them often. I carry this irresistible urge to look what I can’t stomach in the face.
Fear can be a fickle thing that toes the line between exciting and distressing. Or maybe it’s both of those things at once. Either way, it pushes me to ponder the tricky bits of life that just might keep me up at night. Fear, so powerful, inspires me to sink or swim.
Beyond the philosophy of it all, horror films are just fun. The unmatched adrenaline, jump scares, still moments before the spook, and full body sighs of relief when things work out are alluring in ways that I can, oddly, only compare to falling in love. So, I’ve lovingly compiled a list of horror movies to pair with whatever life scenario you might find yourself balancing. Whether you’re considering adopting a pet or moving apartments, there’s a horror film that coincides with whatever predicament you might be facing.
For the horror newbie trying to stomach watching a scary movie:
This isn’t a pivotal life situation so much as a dilemma in preferences or tolerance. If you’ve been considering widening your genre palette and dipping your toe in the spooky waters, check out the following:
Halloweentown (1998): We recognize the first three films in the series only. The fourth is a disgrace. I mention this film partially in jest, but, honestly, it was one of my first memorable experiences with a variation of the horror world. It’s campy, goofy, fun, and features our Queen Debbie Reynolds!!
Coraline (2009): Similarly to Halloweentown, Coraline sprinkles in the unsettling without being outright scary. Incredible visuals mix with stellar voice acting mix with an unforgettable storyline.
The Adventures of Mark Twain (1985): The first ever full-length feature in claymation, this film is...distressing.
For the college student barely hanging on by a thread:
When 5 Hour Energy shots and peanut butter sandwiches aren’t doing it for you anymore, consider what the following horror films might have to say regarding your college experience.
It Follows (2014): College relationships are all fun and games until you catch a succubus hybrid only you can see after going on a Tinder date.
Cabin Fever (2002): Think it gets better once you get the piece of paper? Think again. (TW for gore)
Scream 2 (1997): The iconic Scream series’ second installment is one from which all college students can learn. The self aware, satirical sequel to Scream is perhaps more timely than ever.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997): Sarah Michelle Gellar seals her fate as the quintessential scream queen in this campy teen thriller. Anyone else grow up reading Lois Duncan’s books?
For the environmental activist who recently stocked up on Boca Burgers:
So, you finally got around to watching Food, Inc. and just bought your first bamboo toothbrush?
Raw (2016): Get ready to never want to eat meat again! Or, like, oddly crave a steak after? I don’t know. This one’s gross. (TW for body horror and gore)
The Host (2006): If you’re going to watch one monster movie in your life, this is the one.
The Girl With All the Gifts (2016): Have you ever thought about what happens to children when the inevitable zombie virus outbreaks begins?
ThanksKilling (2009): If you’re looking for more impactful reasons to go vegan, look no further.
For the pushing-30 single who’s considering downloading Bumble again (It’s me. I’m talking to myself).
There are times when being single can be a total bummer, but, let’s face it, you’re more likely to survive an impending disease outbreak, zombie apocalypse, or Purge type situation if you’re on your own. Just sayin’.
Possession (1981): Sometimes...it’s best to stay single.
The Strangers (2008): There are lots of benefits to not having a partner. Namely, you’re less likely to plan a weekend getaway and die by the end of it.
The Fly (1986): No one wants to watch their partner devolve into a monstrous version of an irksome insect, but there’s something about The Fly that’s completely irresistible. (TW for body horror)
For the newly wed or anyone else who’s considering having a baby:
I’m not saying don’t have a baby, but I am saying babies are a sure fire way to be more likely to find yourself in horror movie type scenarios.
The Babadook (2014): Written and directed by Jennifer Kent, the single mother and son at the center of this story battle a children’s book manifestation of evil in their home.
Eraserhead (1977): This film is truly a moving version of birth control.
Dawn of the Dead (2004): Look, it might not be likely that you’ll have to give birth during the zombie apocalypse, but it is possible.
The Bad Seed (1956): Most kids are perfectly great, just not this one...or some others...
For the introvert who’s trying to expand their social circle:
If everyone’s telling you to put yourself out there and spend more time socializing, watch these films to convince yourself to do the opposite of that.
Cube (1997): Sometimes you don’t have a choice in widening your group of friends...
Creep (2014): This one’s a reminder to all my freelancing friends to vet your potential future clients before going to their homes!!!!!!
Funny Games (1997): Don’t be a good neighbor. (TW for graphic violence)
For the families experiencing some personality issues:
Don’t worry, every family has problems. At least you aren’t combatting decades of ritualistic cannibalism or being baited into an oven by your grandma!
We Are What We Are (2013): There isn’t much I can say about this film without giving everything away, but watch it (as well as the original) and be grateful for your dysfunctional family. (TW for body horror and gore)
The VVitch (2015): Some colonial families had it worse than others. Insert shrugging emoji here. (TW for body horror and gore)
The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014): Dwindling mental stability takes a turn when
Get Out (2017): Hey fellow white folks. Let’s actively try to be very different from the Armitage family.
The Visit (2015): Sometimes Grandma and Grandpa aren’t your biggest fans. (M. Night Shyamalan revives some of his former horror glory with this one.)
For those packing their bags and updating their passports for the adventure of a lifetime:
A few notes: don’t get into cars with strangers, don’t leave your drinks uncovered, don’t go spelunking, don’t get on airplanes, don’t trust the B&B owner, don’t leave your house.
The Descent (2005): I’ve visited lots of caves and it takes a lot to truly creep me out, but please know you will never see me bringing up the rear of a cave tour after seeing this film.
Hostel (2005): Word to the wise - don’t be an American who sticks out like an obnoxious sore thumb while traveling Europe. (TW for body horror and gore)
Midsommar (2019): If your partner invites you to Sweden, politely decline. :) (TW for suicide)
Wolf Creek (2005): Think twice before backpacking!!!!!! (TW sexual assault)
The Hills Have Eyes (1977): I have an affinity for taking the road less traveled, but maybe make sure said road isn’t occupied by (rightfully) bitter survivors of a nuclear test explosion. (TW for sexual assault)
For those considering going off the grid and smashing their electronics:
Taking a break from social media and electronic devices is good for the soul, especially when one considers these films.
Cam (2018): One of the most interesting horror films of 2018, Cam reminds us what the future of artificial intelligence is capable of, and how it might impact our online presence. (TW for body horror)
Ingrid Goes West (2017): If you find yourself empathizing with Ingrid, please take a break from social media immediately.
Hard Candy (2005): You can’t always trust strangers you meet on the Internet. (TW for mentions of CSA)
The Ring (2002): I’ll never look at VHS tapes the same again.
Ghost in the Machine (1993): Who says computers can’t be serial killers?
Do you hate horror movies and are appalled I made this list? This one's for you, Audrey. Go watch Dancing with the Stars or 90 Day Fiance - just as horrific as anything else mentioned.
So, whether you find yourself changing a slashed tire on the side of a deserted farm to market road or don’t know how to navigate the creepiness that is your new boss, chances are, there’s a horror movie to help guide you through your current predicament.
What are your horror favorites? Let us know in the comments below. Happy Halloween, folks.
Bethany Swoveland is a poet and digital artist in Texas. She’s available for freelance work and can be reached at bethanyswoveland@gmail.com. Sign up for Bethany’s monthly email newsletter here.